check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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