It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
