In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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