Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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