I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
