she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
