fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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