I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
