I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
