I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You left your phone here
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