I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
MIDGETS
????
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
