Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
