Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
