Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
her facebook's as public as her vagina
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
