Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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