what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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