Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
