Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
