ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
