I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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