That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
