her vagine was all disorganized.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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