Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
