Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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