i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
