i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
