We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
