sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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