the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
