i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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