I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
There are leaves in my underwear?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
