we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
