Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
