Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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