I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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