id be glad to
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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