we have pet lesbian snakes
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Randomize
