Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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