Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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