hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
