ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
