"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
