come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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