i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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