she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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