Christians are straight up FREAKS
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
