I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
