new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
