So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
