I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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