Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
