I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
